Wednesday, February 23, 2011

It's Not Midnight Yet!

So I thought I could share a few songs with you guys! The lyrics in these songs are a part of my archive, I think they have really beautiful and intense imagery, and they're just really good songs. These songs have inspired my past work and dreams (I used to listen to a certain CD on repeat while I slept...). I hope you'll give them a chance.

Wine Red
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc3KZ4jYXFk

The Jetset Life is Gonna Kill You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nb2mRgnfIAo

Cemetery Drive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c1uCHFYG5M

Don't Wake Me Up (SO RELATIVE TO THIS PROJECTTTT)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNboLgiHcMQ
*****The lyrics in this video are especially effed, so you might wanna look those up separately. This was the only semi-clear recording I could find on youtube though, sorry. The song is really beautiful though

Meh, lyrics videos suck, but I want the words to be what impacts you guys.

Poems

I think this is a nice link to share for everyone.

greatpoets is a livejournal community that shares poems. Members share their favorite poems of all time periods. The archive is huge--the user info says that there are 11,599 entries submitted, and most of them have to be poems.

Dreamtigers

Here's a short story-poem by Jorge Luis Borges, called Dreamtigers, from his book "El Hacedor" (The Maker) that connects our exploration of dreams to the research, expectations, and sometimes disappointments of real life:

In my childhood I was a fervent worshiper of the tiger-not the jaguar, that spotted "tiger" that inhabits the floating islands of water hyacinths along the Parana and the tangled wilderness of the Amazon, but the true tiger, the striped Asian breed that can be faced only by men of war, in a castle atop an elephant. I would stand for hours on end before one of the cages at the zoo; I would rank vast encyclopedias and natural history books by the splendor of their tigers. My childhood outgrown, the tigers and my passion for them faded, but they are still in my dreams. In that underground sea or chaos, they still endure. As I sleep I am drawn into some dream or other, and suddenly I realize that it's a dream. At those moments, I often think: This is a dream, a pure diversion of my will, and since I have unlimited power, I am going to bring forth a tiger.
Oh, incompetence! My dreams never seen to engender the creature I so hunger for. The tiger does appear, but it is all dried up, or it's flimsy-looking, or it has impure vagaries of shape or an unacceptable size, or it's altogether too ephemeral, or it looks more like a dog or bird than like a tiger.

- Jorge Luis Borges

The Dog Kennel By the Palace

I've decided to add a few things of interest to the group pool too, in case any of them spark ideas for your project proposals. This one's an excerpt from Soren Kierkegaard's "Parables of Kierkegaard," which could be re-interpreted in any number of ways:

A thinker erects an immense building, a system, a system which embraces the whole of existence and world-history, etc - and if we contemplate his personal life, we discover to our astonishment this terrible and ludicrous fact: that he himself personally does not live in this immense high-vaulted palace, but in a barn alongside of it, or in a dog-kennel, or at most the porter's lodge. If one were to take the liberty of calling his attention to this by a single word, he would be offended. For he has no fear of being under a delusion, if only he can get the system completed ... by means of the delusion.

- Soren Kierkegaard

Presentation Day

I'm in a classroom that resembles my high school Spanish classroom. It is some kind of presentation day and every student must stand up in front of the class individually to present. I come unprepared and when my turn to go comes up, I remain silent and the female teacher calls on the next student (she is calling us in alphabetical order) without even acknowledging my presence. I feel ashamed but relieved. My desk is in the front right corner of the class. When the next student begins to stand up to present, a middle aged thin man, with a stubble, and balding (his face resembles a Polish heroin addict I met at the train station) sitting in a desk in the front middle of the classroom and says something along the lines of "hold on! Hold on! Let the kid go! It's his turn, it's not fair to skip him!" At this the teacher nods and calls me up to the front of the classroom. I am nervous and do not know what I am going to say or do. I position myself at the front of the classroom and smile sheepishly. It's now that I notice that the middle aged man that called me out is wearing a leg brace and is holding a cane, still sitting down. He begins to rant about his horrific experiences in Vietnam, his eyes darting furiously from me to the teacher and back. Another man siting in the back of the class butts in saying he was at 'Nam too. The two Vietnam vets begin to argue amongst themselves. I'm still standing at the front of the class and look to my right, where a stereotypical Orthodox Jew (curls, black rimmed hat, thick glasses...) walks up to the desk at the front of the class, seemingly unaware or uninterested in the situation, to staple some papers.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/money/51268547-79/alcohol-pregnant-signs-drinking.html.csp


Super interesting and eye opening article about women's beliefs about FAS. Like, really? She really thought it was okay to drink beer. Cool. Go America.

Poem--What's Genocide? Carlos Andres Gomez

I stumbled upon this poem a while ago. It has beautiful imagery.

Read here
I was walking in a dark school hallway when I heard footsteps behind me. The lights were flashing and a few flies were circling around them. I walked down the dark corridor without making any sound when suddenly, the footstep behind me started to walk in a faster pace. I was holding a compass like object tightly. In one step, I was in a different place. Somehow I was in a fancy, luxurious hotel room with white satin sheets and white couches. I put the compass-like object on top of a white drawer. The room was rather small with dim lights that gave the room an eerie atmosphere. On the walls, there was a side mirror with a white Victorian design on but I couldn't see my reflection, and a horned skull above the white bed. Out of nowhere, an old friend named Inae appeared in her 20~30 year old form. She still had the same short, jet black bob cut and she was wearing a long black robe. She said "Hi, I was expecting to see you here." Behind her, there was an tall Asian man about in his early 20s, who was wearing an all-black tux. He told me to stay there. I greeted them and asked him who he was. He didn't answer. Rude.
Desperate to see where I was, I walked up to the window, pulled the white curtains and only saw lights. Confused, I asked her where was I. She gave me an evil smile and told me to stay here while they were getting something. These two walked sideways for some reason and I didn't feel like waiting. I grabbed that thing and Inae angrily tried to snatch that away. Before she could get her hands one me, I was awake suddenly.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

salmon the dreamer

This is what I dreamed in February 14th 2011.

I was wearing military uniform and holding a rifle gun. I noticed I was moving in a military truck without knowing where I was going. When I arrived, I saw the paved square ground, which looked like swimming pool with no water in it. I started to look around myself. I was in a dark and gloomy room, but I could still recognize soldiers’ faces. The light shed only on their faces. Then I stopped looking around and faced directly to the paved ground. Suddenly, I realized paved ground was filled with thousands of Vietnamese fishermen. I couldn’t visualize the number of soldiers in dark room, but I could hear their loud screaming noises. What I could see was Vietnamese fishermen wearing aprons and holding sashimi knives. It was funny because they were in barefoot. They were also wearing one sleeve short and one sleeve long shirt, but rolled up. Usually the short sleeve side of hand was holding a knife.

I started to shoot all of them. The Vietnamese fishermen started to fall down one by one. I couldn’t see any blood or sign of pain on their faces.

Few minutes passed quickly. When I relooked at the paved ground, I realized Vietnamese fishermen have changed into little Vietnamese, Mexican, Jewish and Arabian girls and boys. They looked around seven to eight years old. The boys looked younger than the girls. The boys were also wearing dirty white shirts and short pants. The girls were wearing white sleeveless dresses with long hair. Those girls and boys looked really skinny, but they had most dark and beautiful eyes. I knew I had to shoot them anyways. So I started to shoot one by one again. This time, the boys and girls didn’t fall down like how Vietnamese fisherman did. Instead, they were jumping around to grab golden and silver Kisses chocolates and some golden coin chocolate that were falling from the ceiling. It was unusual experience. I felt joy by looking at those shining boys and girls. At the last moment, I shot this one girl’s helium balloon and then I woke up.

i was in a store that was set up like a grocery store but the only sold things... like objects. It was all very surreal-- with bright colors... weird lines. Sort of looked liked my roommate, carlos matul's, paintings.

I had this little book shelf with me. the one that's next to my bed. it had compartments that were not normal to the actual object. I was dragging it around stealing things (folders and and china dolls?) and putting them inside the shelf.


I go to the counter and there's this man who works who looked and acted a lot like this guy named Arthur at this thrift store back home. Arthur in real life is autistic. Arthur in my dream was autistic and yellow.

I put my things up on the belt at the things super market to get bought some of things i had stolen them last time i was there so i quick put them back into bookshelf.

Arthur notices and gets suspicious. I take his snow pants from under the table and try to buy them and then he gets mad annnnd i wake up.

If you're interested...

If you guys enjoyed listening to the RadioLab podcast then you should check out this week's This American Life podcast (100% free on iTunes). This American Life is hosted by Ira Glass and every show has a different topic and explores several stories from average people on that topic. This week's topic is called "Parent Trap", basically focusing on stories where parents have tried to do something nice for their kids,with their best interest at heart, often leading to unwanted or unexpected results.

One of the contributors for this week's story is...RadioLab!!! Every so often RadioLab makes an appearance on the show and tells some very interesting story relating to the topic of the week as well as to science. This week the people from RadioLab tell a story about a chip who was raised twice, once as a human child and once as a chimp. Very Very cool stuff.

Enjoy

Dream Journal / Blog: Entry #5

02.21.11

So I'm living alone currently and I had a really hard time going to sleep last night ... I kept hearing noises throughout the house and one of my biggest fears is ghosts so I was legitimately curled up with my eyes wide open ... i wasn't even trying to dream but I ended up having this really weird dream and I am surprised I even remember it ...

This is one of my more "jumbled" dreams ... there were a lot of segments broken up that all correlate with one another ...

a. One segment I remember is driving in a car, with maybe my younger brother? I'm the driver and it's nighttime and I think we're driving through what looks like the suburbs of Vegas? Anyways ... I guess at one point we're driving through a red stoplight and I t-bone this car coming in another direction ... The dream all of a sudden goes in slow motion and instead of swerving or putting my foot on the break, I literally press down the gas as hard as I can and ram this guy ... all I remember is his face looking at me from his car in complete shock ... and me and my brother just drive away ... D: ... hit and run driver much?

b. It cuts to me walking a dog I guess? I haven't had a dog in years and I guess I have a german shepherd in my dream ... I'm walking him through this parking area for a condo/apartment development (again night time)

c. The dream then goes to me returning home from walking the dog ... I see the police patrolling the neighborhood and I get really fucking freaked out. I confess to my parents what happened, with the whole driving incident, and they're like weirdly supportive ... basically they're like ok we'll hide this secret from the police.

d. The next thing I remember is the cops coming to our house, interrogating us, seeing if we know anything / have heard of anything ... of course we're all lying ... the cops start looking at our family photos on the wall, searching through the house, etc. and then leave ...

I'm missing a lot of pieces from the dream but that was the gist of it ... I remember just being terrified of the cops finding out ... It was a lot weirder then it sounds ... it's funny cause this morning i knew i had dreams but i couldnt remember them ... in class today i had an epiphany, remembering this dream here ... :P

These two are from last night...

I had two dreams last night, back to back. How they correlate to each other, if they do, I don't know:

1. I am at a loft party asking people for a cigarette but nobody takes me up on it, ignoring me and continuing on with their conversations. I come across a girl on a couch, wearing a furry hat, who at first I thought was a dog. I ask her for a cigarette. I tell her I thought she was a puppy at first and she laughs and gives me a cigarette. Before I can even lite it, we start making out violently and rolling around on the couch. I remember wanting to pause to catch my breath but she wouldn't let me.

2. I am in a room of glass. An old friend of mine from high school, who wasn't so much a friend as a friend of a friend, passes by and I press my palm against the glass but he ignores it. Then I hear a tap on the glass and I am let out of the room into a space of darkness. I am married to a woman resembling my own mother and she tells me that she will divorce me if she ever sees me drunk again. I tell her spitefully "you're real fucking ugly when I'm drunk," and she lays down on a couch and agrees with me.

I remember this clearly from before I was ten years old

My family is having a barbecue in the backyard of our old house in Chicago. It is a bright, sunny day and things seem to be going fine. The light mood is interrupted when a semi-truck crashes into the front of my house. Out of the semi-truck comes a stout grinning stereo-type of a trucker, trucker cap, denim overalls and all. His face is almost cartoonish in the way he is smiling ear to ear, like the Cheshire cat. He picks me up, as I was still a little boy at the time of this dream, and throws me onto his back. He begins to take me with him back to the truck, away from my family and home. I cry out to my mother for help but apparently she cannot hear me, although she clearly sees what is happening, following the trucker and I, on his shoulder, with a look of hypnotized dumbness on her face.

Babies, and Puppies, and Robberies.

I didn't realize we were supposed to be posting, I thought we just needed the journal, I don't know why. Really sorry!

Last night was wierd, I remember having three dreams, two of which I can remember completely and one that I think had something to do with cupcakes? I think about cupcakes a lot recently, haha.

These are from last night:

1. My boyfriend Brian and I were outside of a Fed Ex near my house (what we need Fed Ex for... I have no clue. And he recently, in real life, got into a huge fight with someone at a gas station, where I thought we were both gonna die. Maybe that's where this dream stemmed from? But a homeless man came up to the car. Brian had just gotten out and I was in the car. The man reached for Brian's door and yanked on the handle, and it came opened but I pulled it shut. I was mad and scared so I flipped him off. He started yelling at me and calling me a bitch, and reached for it again, so Brian hit the lock button on the remote key and locked me in and I couldn't get out and I was screaming and crying and trapped in the car because the man pulled a knife and stabbed Brian. When Brian fell, he took the keys and unlocked the car, and stole the cupholder where Brian keeps toll change (it's not removable in real life.)

It felt like I was actually there, so real in fact that I texted Brian at 3:13 AM and said "That was scary. Wewwshouldnt go there anymore+" I only know this because he just texted me "Go where?" and I was like "What?" so I checked my sent box. Yay for REM texting?

2. Had a dream my mom bought a surprise puppy last night. It was a really weird breed, and it was REALLY small. But it had really similar features/qualities to the big flying dog in the Neverending Story. Meh.\

I have some old dreams that I'll literally never forget.

3. When I was 11 or so, my cousin died of cancer, she was 5. I had a dream right after that she was at my house and kept asking to play with me. I said "Pamela, stop, we can't play because you're dead!" and she took a few steps back and asked me why I would tell her that. And then her eyes rolled back and blood came out of every orifice and pore on her face. Scariest dream ever.

4. The day I met Brian, I didn't know his name really I just kinda saw him? Well, that night I dreamt of him, and my subconscious named him Max? I don't know why. ANYWAY. I had an extremely bad crush on Brian in real life so in my dreams, he walked me home from the park and we held hands. I was super happy and went inside and fell asleep.
WELL when I woke up the next morning, I was pregnant. Like full term ready-to-pop preggers. I was like "WTF?!" And told my mom, who immediately kicked me out. I had nowhere to go so I waited at the park til 'Max'/Brian showed up, and told him I had to live with him. He was like 'Sure.' so I got on the pegs on his bike and we went to his house. But I'd never been in his house, just his backyard, and apparently my subconscious couldn't build a house, so I lived in his backyard on an aluminum swing set, hahahaha.
The last part of the dream, I went to a dance by myself (where's Max? No clue.) and no one would dance with me because I was clearly pregnant. And over all the music, I could hear really loud ticking. I was like 'Really? Who brings such a LOUD watch to a dance?' and then the ticking got faster and I started to panic and then my belly exploded and I was just screaming. So scary. I was like 15 when I dreamt this. Absolutely horrifying.

Also, this is tough because I almost ALWAYS dream about babies and marriage because I think about it a lot, and I don't want my project to be annoyingly cutesy gross, nor do I want to post those 'cause it's embarrassing how much I think about those things. And if it's not babies or marriage, it's MCR. Which is a little more embarrassing, but may make better project material? Eh. I'll go with MCR. It's a little less personal, I'm sure no one wants to hear my dreams for my future.

5. I had one recently, and me and like fifteen other people were waiting in a VIP area for a concert, which is going to be in April (April 15th YAYA!). We were going to wait there, for 3 months, on a rickety 'VIP' wooden balcony. In the middle of a lake. So Brian was kinda like, 'Wtf Erin, lets just go home until April.' And I was so opposed to this. I was like 'NO. WE NEED TO JUMP THE LINE.' Well, patience paid off because about ten people left, and everyone was like hesitant. But then Gerard showed up in his Killjoy outfit and was like 'Why did you bother to wait? in this really wise tone. Think Batman in the Dark Knight. That intense. And no one answered, they all kinda just stared. So I yelled, 'Because WHO would miss this show?!!'

Gerard just kinda nodded, and there was a big green light, and everyone was like 'Ahhhh, oohhh,' and then all the remaining 'VIP' people were in superhero outfits (kind of a theme in the new album ha), armed with rayguns and other cool shit. We patrolled the show. It was so cool. Hahahahah I suck.

6. Alyssa is in this one!

So MCR was at my house, but they were all avoiding me because I think I was creeping them out (big surprise. Me creeping, yeah right!).
They were all hungry, so I gave them pizza (I had pizza that night in real life ha.) Then Gerard was whining and said 'I want something sweet...' So I gave him a banana? I dunno. Then I tried to talk to him again, and I was creeping him out so he pawned me off on Mikey, the bassist, and then they all just left without saying goodbye and I was really sad. Well, Gerard pop up chatted me on facebook and was like 'hey what was that food you so piously shared with me today?' and I said 'bananas?' and then he sent me a painting of bananas. I was like YOU PAINTED THAT FOR ME! and he was like 'yup :D!' Then Alyssa chatted me too and was like it's true, he did, I'm right here with him. It was nuts.


tl;dr I have a lot of wierd dreams.

Monday, February 21, 2011

More dreams

I can't remember anymore dreams if I had any in the past few days, and I might as well try sharing a few old ones.

I used to have these dreams that came in a series, though I only really remember two. Sometimes I'll flashback to a dream I had a few years prior, but I don't have dreams like I did as a kid (if I do, I don't remember them). Just to clarify, what I mean by series of dreams is that I'll have a dream one day and the next day my dream will be a continuation of the previous dream. Like a TV show except kind of horrifying.

One particular series of dreams that I remember lasted at least a week. The basic premise of these dreams were that I was living in a half utopia, half distopia world where technology had greatly advanced and there were these amazingly tall buildings. There were also slums and dirty alleyways and a lot of danger. Most, if not all, of the danger was directed towards children. Children, in my dream, were being hunted for either sport or they were seen as a nuisance to the nation. I was part of a group of children who just try to live as long as possible until we weren't children anymore. Each dream began with us running away, a new teammate (oddly, someone who I had seen on TV or someone in real life) and usually that new guy would die among other kids in my group by the end of the dream.

The men, or just a man, who hunted us were big guys with big guns or just really powerful weapons. They enjoyed the sport.

What I remember most vividly is the very last day I had this dream series. We found a car, I think a green jeep, that was sort of abandoned and kind of mounted a bit on its side. It was also in my home, at the end of the hallway that connected to the front door area and had a closet where we kept our junk. Anyway, the smart guy in our group checked out the car and told us that it was good and we could drive it. We all rejoiced, because a car meant we could get away faster and a place to sleep--it was something safer than just running around. Suddenly, a lazer beam shoots up from the ground and through the smart boy's heart. The ground erupts and the hunter comes out with a cry. All of us kids scream and run away in all different directions.

I ran into the kitchen, which is just a bit down the hallway. To explain, there's a small sort of window space that lets you see out of the kitchen to the living room and vice versa. I try to hide in the dark and I see the hunter stalking down the hall, trying to find one of us kids. I suddenly feel a burst of courage, being in my home made me feel safer in a way. I run out of the kitchen and in front of the hunter. I fight with him and I manage to knock him onto the ground. In his hands was the lazer shooter, and before he could use it, I slam my foot on his hand and the controller. I won. The kids rejoice, I pose triumphantly. The End.

As a segway, I had another dream that was similar to this one, except it was just one day. I was the leader of a bunch of children and we were trying to run away from this giant monster creature. I just remember a lot of running in dark, grey-blue lands (kind of like what you'd expect old time Great Britain would look like) and especially running up a series of stairs. I think I lost a shoe at one point, and I remember stepping into a puddle. At the top of the stairs was this giant castle/cathedral like structure which was a safe haven for all the children. I have all the children run into the building, but for some reason I stay back. Either for some reason the building is too full or I decided to face the monster. I remember seeing one kid at each side of the door hiding in crevices with torches in their hands. I hear a growling noise after a short while and I turned to see a giant wolf snarling at me, lunging towards my face. The last thing I remember is its giant teeth and tongue. So I assume I died, since I woke up right then.

Staircase

I had this dream a while ago, maybe a few months, but it was one of those that still haunts me to this day. It had a huge impact on me.

The first thing I remember is being in a desolate forest-like environment with a couple of my friends, talking a walk and all seems normal. My friends are no longer there and I find myself staring at a mud-caked jeep abandoned in the middle of a dirt road. From there I make my way into an old decrepit mansion standing ominously in the wilderness , an enormous structure that seems like it hasn't been occupied in decades. I don't recall actually stepping foot into the place but I have a vague picture of cautiously walking down a corridor so narrow that I even felt claustrophobic in my dream. This corridor leads to a room in which a videotape was playing on a television set of a young girl trapped in a box and inevitably starving to death. This cuts to a scenario in which I am walking up a wooden staircase that seems to have no bottom or top. As I walk up this staircase, a old naked Asian man is running down, passing me by, laughing to himself. It wasn't so much laughing as chuckling, like he had just done something mischievous and was pleased with it, like a child would when ringing a doorbell and running away. This was the last image I remember from this particular dream.


Past Dream #2: " I Throw Rocks At Myself "

This is one of my favorite dreams I've ever had because of how ridiculous it was. I had it in 8th grade but I still remember it vividly.

The dream starts out at my house, except its not really my house. The layout is similar to the house of these kids I used to babysit . I'm with my friend Maddie and this boy from school named Brock. (Right off the bat this dream is funny because the idea of me and Brock ever hanging out is pretty far fetched. As his name might imply, he was the resident "jock" at school. He sat in front of me in english that year so we would talk occasionally, but were in no way good friends). So me, Maddie, and Brock are hanging out in my house. Maddie's acting super crazy, she's like really really hyper and its getting a little annoying. Brock on the other hand, seems really upset and I'm getting a little worried about him. While I try and calm Maddie down I notice Brock heading down stairs to the basement.

I decide I should go check on him, so I leave Maddie upstairs and head to the basement to look for Brock. In this house the stairs leading down to the basement take you into this large room that leads to two smaller rooms, one right next to the other. The first room I pass is open and I see Brock lying on a bed sleeping. However, I somehow know that this isn't really Brock, that its really just a "decoy Brock" that is supposed to stop me from finding the "real Brock". I continue to the next room and I see Brock sitting in a chair with his head in his hands.

I walk up to him and try to comfort him. I ask him what's wrong but he just shakes his head. I say to him,"Brock, you can trust me. If there's something wrong I can try and help". Finally, he lifts his head from his hands, I see he has been crying. In an anguished voice he says," Casey, I'm so afraid to tell you what's wrong, I don't want to lose you." I tell him that that is ridiculous, that I won't judge him, that I'll always be here for him. So he takes a big breath and says..."Casey, I throw rocks at myself!"

*I have to interrupt myself here to give a little context as to where this strange confession may have come from. At this time, I had several friends who were dealing with depression and self-inflicted injury (cutting, etc.). So this kind of thing was often on my mind. I felt really overwhelmed by what was happening to my friends. While this was not funny in anyway, the way it entered into this dream, I think, is hilarious. Okay, back to the dream:

Upon hearing Brock's shocking confession I begin to cry. I say, "Brock! You are so much better than that! You are such a great guy and don't even know it!" (Whats funny here is that Brock, in real life, wasn't a very good guy, but believed he was the most awesome person in the world).

At this point the dream shifts and Brock and I are walking hand-in-hand in what looks like an old train station, sort of like Kings Cross (Harry Potter nerd), but its really an airport. Apparently I am traveling somewhere. Brock walks me into the plane. The seats are all shabby, miss-matched lazy-boys. I sit down in one but Brock says, pointing to a rust brown chair, "Don't you want one that reclines?". So I change seats, Brock kisses me goodbye, and I wake up.

Upon waking from this dream I remember being both extremely confused and extremely amused.

I Don't Want Your Boyfriend

I had the oddest dream I've had in awhile last night. I was at the Pilsen fabric store with my sister and mom and I was trying on ready made clothes that they had and I kept on a dress that I really liked and planned to purchase. I was walking around in it and this guy and girl walked past me but the guy grabbed my butt from under the dress. I was going to let it slide for some reason but then he turned around and gave me a disgusting look so I was like "Hey! You can't just do that to me!" and then his girlfriend was like "What the fuck, don't talk to my man" and then I tried to explain that he is not a good boyfriend because he grabbed my ass but she wouldn't listen and tried to beat me up after she put on this weird needle brass knuckle thing the store provided for some reason. The fight was broken up before she got to hit me and the police took the guy away but she was still in the store and I was scared... she was crazy and her boyfriend was a perv.

Dream Journal / Blog: Entry #4

02.20.11

I keep having weird nostalgic dreams about my old high school D: this one took a turn for the odd though ...

I remember I was in my school's auditorium or maybe it was the gym and it was this huge assembly or something ... my school's founder was at the auditorium and she was ranting about something ... all the seniors were sitting in this designated area (it reminded me of graduation but it wasn't really because in the dream I knew I had already graduated but it had the same feeling to it) ... our founder then asks the seniors who would be willing to help out with this banquet coming up ... everyone that wanted to help stood up / raised their hands ... I stayed sitting but the founder then goes "no one? OK well then I'll have to just randomly choose" ... she lists off like 5 people, starting with my name, and I'm like "Shit..." ... the dream transitions to the banquet and I guess I'm chosen to hand out flowers (carnations) to the guests who I arrive ... I have two left so I go to where my parents are sitting ... they're arguing, obviously and arguing pretty loudly at that ... I go "You know everyone can here you two arguing right?" and I give them the flowers ... then this bitch from the administration office comes up to me later and goes "Where's the one with the broccoli?" and I'm like "what...?" and she goes "the flowers you were handing out ... one of them had a broccoli on top" ... at this point I'm like what the fuck is going on and I go "uhh no ... one of them did not have that ..." ... I lead her to my parents' seats, I look over at the flowers I just gave them and sure enough the one I gave my mom had the stem of a flower but the head of a broccoli ... I took it from my mom and gave it to the lady ... I apologized a million times and then ALL OF A SUDDEN I'm looking at this advertisement for how to make this bizarre salsa/quacomole sort of thing ... I decide to go to a 7-eleven of sorts (but it's more of a Mexican 7-eleven? It's not racist it's just that the store was more hispanic? more fiesta-y?) ... the guy working directs me to this little fridge at the front of the register that displayed green and red peppers ... but the recipe i was holding showed a picture of an avocado ... he assured me though this was what i was looking for ... all I get from there is this vision of an avocado looking thing that looks like a pepper on the inside ...

So object-wise I now have sushi, a broccoli flower, and an "peppercado" to choose from ... :P D:

Past Dream #1: Three Dreams In The Fog

I haven't done a great job remembering my dreams this week so I thought I would share several of my really vivid past dreams. The one I am going to start with is the only nightmare I really remember having. It was a dream in three, unrelated parts.

The first part of the dream I was in a car with my mom, my best friend, and her mom. We're driving on this really narrow, reallllllllly tall bridge (I'm terrified of heights) and its really foggy and hard to see out. I'm feeling really anxious when suddenly a car appears right in front of ours, out of the fog, heading straight for us. My friend's mom is driving and she swerves so as not to hit the car, but we fall off the edge of the bridge.

As we're falling, before we hit the water, the dream changes. Now I'm walking in a field but its really foggy out and I can't see anything but the ground directly below me. As I am walking I begin to notice how green the grass is, how it stands out against the white of the fog. Then, I begin to notice little dots of color on the ground. As I continue walking I realize that the little dots of color are millions of brightly colored dead birds.

As the horror of that situation sets in the dream changes a third time. This time I'm out in a field again, but I'm not alone. I'm with my high school gym class and we're playing this game called war. We each have a gun and several hand grenades (they aren't real, just props).The field is hilly and it is foggy here too, so there's a lot of opportunity to hide. I remember being really scared, even though I knew it was a game. Everyone was getting really into it, taking it very seriously and it was frightening. It was like everyone forgot it was just a game. I was hiding at the bottom of a hill near some bushes when this girl from my class, her name is Torrie, jumps up behind me a shoots me. I remember everything going black, and thinking, "oh my god, I'm dead." After a couple minutes of lying in the mud in total darkness I remember that its just a game, that I can't be dead. I get up just as the bell rings marking the end of class. I'm shaking and very upset. I go into the locker room to change and in the mirror I see Torrie behind me. She's acting totally normal, laughing with friends, but I feel this intense unease about her, because she was the one who killed me.

The day after having this dream I was really freaked out. From the moment I woke up I felt weird, uncomfortable and uneasy. It was such a vivid, disturbing dream that it was hard to shake.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

ew

i was running and then i was in a factory but there was a gallery show there and it was really nice but then as i went along there were fewer and fewer paintings and it got dark and there were dead bodies everywhere, not just human bodies but animal circuses too, skinned just hanging everywhere but the weird thing was that all the colors were like green, blue, pink and it felt like we were in a painting.

weird dream

so there was this talking monkey. and then this guy walked in and we went to this place. i don't know if it was this weird party or just a room full of people. but then we were'nt in the room anymore..... then the guy disappeared and i was walking in a forest. all of a sudden i see all this cats. then the cats left and i was in someone's house. all of a sudden i was getting married to this guy named Padro...... i will never eat pizza before bed ever again

kangaroo manicure

i was at this show in the basement of some house completely unfurnished and then the show was over and i was walking around the house through all the rooms and there was this spiral staircase but it was outside and i was inside and then i had to sleep there for some reason. everyone was sleepin on the floor and there were all these blankets so i slept in this nest in the middle of the room. We slept for three days and then i just got up and left and all the lights were on and it was night tine and i was chillin outside by this lamppost and then i was at this other house and it was a party and then i woke up in a really nice bed i went downstairs and went outside. we were in arizona and it was like desert, dead grass type landscape. someone died and all the kids from the show were all mad and they were gettin ready for a war and there was this kangaroo and it had its nails done human nails..like bright pink manicure. everyone was running and i was just standing there and the kangaroo was there to take care of me and it was hopping along with me. and then we were in the city and we had to stop cuz the kangaroo needed to get cigarettes and all the kids and i stopped at the cheesecake factory and i chilled outside till the kangaroo was done smoking.. and then i was on a boat . it was a ferry or something but no one was on it

Shark Fishing :)

so i was at this place and there was this pool, it looked really shallow, like a huge fountain but it was all big and round. I was with people and we were chillin at the edge. All these dolphins started poppin up n they were plastic but not and then we were higher up n there were sharks in the pool n we had these big ass guns n we were shooting at the sharks cuz we were shark fishing and all the water got all bloody n then it was just a bloody fountain and then i was crawling on this wooden ledge and it was time for dinner and i was in this summer house and i was with my family but it wasnt my family but it was all good cuz everything was jello.
thats all i remember.

Dream Journal / Blog: Entry #3

02.18.11

I had a dream that made absolutely no sense ... it wasn't linear at all and followed absolutely no order of any kind ... All I remember is making out intensively with a random pedestrian woman near a bus stop across the street from what seemed to be the Border's beneath the 162 dorm building, purchasing sushi at some sort of grocery story and being extremely agitated by the fact that the store was out of mangos, and at the same time Polish people were some how involved ... oh and at one point I was in an elevator? And I guess at another point, towards the end, I was near a harbor? On a warm but breezy summer day?

It was bizarre ...

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Dream Journal / Blog: Entry #2

02.14.11

I dreamt that I was living in my old high school theater with a bunch of miscellaneous people ... in the dream I remember I could distinguish the people but looking back on it, I don't remember anyone specifically ... the bizarre part was the fact that this theater building was also, somehow, part canyon ... haha ... I remember we were all having a good time, lighting bonfires, etc. when all of a sudden a giant pack of mountain lions attacks our "camp" ... a battle of epic proportions immediately ensues ... All I remember is being in a hand-to-hand combat sort of fight with a mountain lion ... we may have won? I don't remember ... It was badass ...

Dream Journal / Blog: Entry #1

So I always have a good time remembering my dreams ... I remember when I was in middle school or early high school I had to train myself to remember my dreams better because I always had a hard time with it ... I've always been fascinated by dreams/deja-vus/memory(ies) and I was always bummed out that I would go for long periods of times (weeks, a couple of months) without having any dreams. I've gotten a lot better though and I absolutely love avocados ... If you didn't know already, some foods aid with memory including blueberries and avocados.

Anyways, I'll try to share my more interesting dreams ... I always seem to have really bizarre or obscure ones ...

02.08.11

I was on a plan or shuttle of sorts ... like one of those space shuttles ... I was with my mom, my older brother Michael, and my younger brother Alex ... we landed in Las Vegas right as Armageddon was about to start ... We landed the shuttle in a Smith's parking lot (in Vegas, Smith's is the same thing as Chicago's Jewel) just as this beautiful, surreal, out of this world sunset was happening ... It got dark really fast when the sun went behind the mountains and it started to hail/rain/and get pretty bad weather-wise ... We ran for shelter as "Armageddon lightning and thunder" started above us ... When we all got inside, I all of a sudden decided to run back outside to see the storm some more ... I get outside and it's like a cyclone is hitting the city, the wind is ridiculous, palm tree branches are flying everywhere ... Just as I get outside to see all this, I make it just in time to witness this stranger, a man, run across the parking lot in front of me and get struck by lightning, collapsing instantly ... I ran back inside the grocery store to tell my mom ... she was sobbing and apologetic towards me that I had to "see such a thing" ...

And that's all I remember, haha ... it was kind of a cool dream if I do say so myself ...

Friday, February 18, 2011

I actually remembered a dream!

It happened the day of class, but I decided to wait to see if I dream anything else. And well, I don't remember any of my dreams aside from the one I just mentioned, so yeah.

I don't exactly remember how it started, but I remember there a feeling of urgency and something getting me or something like that (which is almost every dream I have).

The parts that I do remember are pretty odd. Me, my family (or maybe a new imaginary family, I can't remember faces) and a bunch of other families that I either know somehow or we're all just in this adventure together for some reason get together for this vacation. And there's this feeling of urgency again, like as if me and the other families MUST do this (my POV also shifts a lot; sometimes I'm a dad for two young girls). So we all hurry and get our belongings packed and move on to this guy.

This guy, my mind registers him as either the director or the artistic creator of the animated movie Robots and another movie that made me spasm with joy. He has glasses, a receding hair line, his shnozz is pretty noticeable--basically, a bookish man who kinda looks like Ben Kingsley (not his Ghandi role, but the one from Schindler's List), but not really. The vacation he offers us as we all gather in his little study room (like a Harvard literature professor's dusty study but somehow more spacious in a weird space defying way) offers vacation via our dreams.

He says simply that our vacation is our dreams--we'll spend about a week and a half in another world together which will last just a few seconds (in movie terms, Inception-like limbo *gags*). We gain the knowledge at some point that if we remember that we're dreaming while we're dreaming, the vacation is over and we wake up. Anyway, so we all go into our dream and there are flowers and I think bookshelves that don't have anything in them somewhere. Very bright, white and yellow colors. My POV switches in the dream. I become either some young man or maybe my dad or the Dad of the two daughters I mentioned earlier but I can't remember. I realize it's a dream and I start panicking for some reason. Then I go to me, actual physical me, and tell me that it's all a dream. Then I reply to...myself, I guess, that I know that it's all a dream and that I chose to stay in the dream. Then I continue to frolic in flowerbeds.

That's all I remember. I have an itch to scratch--I want to tell all the wacky strange, sexual, super violent, romantic and adventurous dreams I've had. They're all so weird. I guess another day.

Bizarre Dream Of The Week

So, last night I dreamt that I was on a road trip to Indiana with some friends from high school. We decided it would be faster to drive only on beaches instead of taking the highway (how that makes sense I do not know).

Now we're driving on a bunch of beaches but its a lot harder driving on sand than we had thought. There are also a lot of rocks and drift wood on the ground so we have to sort of swerve around them. Eventually, one of our tires pops and we have to get out and figure what to do.

So, we jump out of the car and are inspecting the damage when my roommate's family appears. (I have never met my roommates parents, so they are totally made up people in my dream). Apparently they had been having a bon fire on this random beach (which is weird because they're from the east coast). For some reason they were really mad at us, yelling and stuff. My roommate's mom is telling me and my friends that we're going to go to hell (I have no idea why, I'm sure she's really nice in real life). We don't really know what to do, these people are being really mean and we're stranded on this beach. Finally we decide to just leave our car and walk to rest of the way to Indiana, leaving the angry family behind.

Who knows what that was all about?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

SLEEP on Radiolab

All right, here's the piece on Sleep that we'll be listening to for this week's homework. It's about an hour long and has three main sections, which means it may be preferable to download and listen to as a podcast HERE. (you can also download it as a podcast from iTunes) We will be discussing it at the beginning of class, so don't put it off too late, but if you do listen earlier in the week I'll ask that you take down notes so that if you're called on class, you can remember key parts that stood out to you, basic info, etc.

For those of you looking for sound-activated recording options, here's a link to the software I mentioned: Dream Capture - though I just read a lot of reviews from people who had trouble getting the free version to work. In looking back at my former student's post, it looks like he wound up just buying a voice recorder from Radio Shack or Best Buy that can be voice activated. Here's the piece he made with that audio for those who are interested.

Looking forward to your posts this week on dreaming and sleep. Sweet Dreams!

What people care about! (click to enlarge photos)
















YOUR Opinion Wanted!

Erin and Raven have a serious question for you! On a scale of 1-10 we would like for you to rate our asses. YES! Rate them. It's a serious issue that we wish to resolve about American society and define the line between comfort and discomfort.

Here are a few opinions:









YOU decide!

Photobucket


http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/wan/2218143208.html

Anita/Megumi/Raven/Erin

Penny for Your Thoughts?

The mind is an obscure and vast environment ... it contains our passions ... our fantasies ... an abyss of obscurities and fictional worlds ...

We collect thoughts ... here are some samples of what we have gathered from the citizens of Downtown Chicago ... some more bizarre than others ...

-I don't get to see my boyfriend as often as I'd like ...

-I need advil ...

-We need a run-off for the upcoming Mayoral Election; it would be beneficial for the media ...

-Thought of impermanence ...

-Put a cup of water under your bed at night to draw out all your bad feelings or issues that are troubling you in life ... -

-I love Chicago; I know very little English ...

-I've lived here since 1984, I'm a tour director and I take photos for my son in New Zealand ...

-Sex, Summer, Tattoos ...

-The Bean; I think it's big ...

Have a thought? We'd love to hear it.

This is some of the gang at work in Millennium Park:

Save the Pudu!





We specialize in therapeutic experiments involving personal interaction and how the general public deals with revealing their thoughts when put in an emotional situation (i.e. given an endangered animal).

In our most recent endeavors our team traveled to the heart of downtown Chicago, with a strong curiosity of the unknown and a few delicacies from the local 7-Eleven. We set up shop near corporate establishments throughout the city, advertising a desire to raise money for an endangered species native to South America. It was through this task that we were able to create an emotional bond between the spectator and this wild Pudu, a sympathetic cry for an animal in need of some simple generosity.

Known as "the smallest deer in the world," the Pudu calls its home Argentina and Peru, placed in the spotlight of danger every day due to deforestation and hungry predators. This tragic reality is in our voices as we shout out to the citizens of the downtown Loop and the surrounding areas for you to look into your hearts and make a donation. Any contribution, small or large, will benefit in saving this endangered species from disappearing forever.

Purchase our merchandise and spread the word to your fellow comrades ... the Pudu needs your help now before it's too late!

Our location varies day to day but we are typically located in the Loop area. We offer anything from tropical fruit to foreign nuts, from baked chips to southern jerky. Donations are welcome as well ... remember, every penny matters! No donation is too small!

So ask yourself ... what would YOU do if your home was threatened by a rabid puma or invading bulldozers? Save the Pudu ... save the world.



You Care? We Care!

You Care? We Care! (Downtown)

Date: 2011-02-16, 2:58PM CST
Reply to: serv-gyrzx-2218150906@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We, the people, care about what you have to say! So a team of 3 was sent out into downtown Chicago to find out what people care about to hopefully eventually make a change.
We want people to be aware of the cares of others, and what better way then to ask? We found many varying cares and concerns in people young and old and by e-mailing you may be able to see these varying cares to become aware!

Please tell us what you care about and in return you may know the various cares of others.
YOU CARE! SO DO WE!
Become Aware, Just Care.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EO4wJZ7ANLA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3yrz0ckLHA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5QtjxZLZZc

Location: Downtown
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 2218150906

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/crs/2218150906.html

Suffering? Adoption?

ARE YOU SUFFERING???----PSYCHIC----*I will Bring back your love one within hours*no more teras, no more humiliations stop suffering for love or money TAROT READINGS PALM READINGS*I will show you the face of your enemies*do you want to know if your LOVE ONE is CHEATING??? Just a call can change your life...

It goes on.

LOVING COUPLE DESIRES BABY TO ADOPT
Your child will be our greatest treasure! We admire your courage. Approved exp. paid. Confidential.

Thanks again!


Lost water bottle? :) - BTV - Newark - 11/26

Ad #3621740
ContactG
CreatedNovember 28, 2010
ExpiresMay 28, 2011
Viewed148 times
Talk about a long shot... We sat together Friday (26th) from Burlington to Newark. I was off to Baltimore; you to SA the next day. You found my "could have lived without" water bottle and ran to find me. We talked for a few minutes after; enjoyed your company.

I'd like to say "thanks" again. Yeah, we're both involved; it's just nice to find intelligent life, and I hate not to take advantage of it.

Write! :)

i wouldn't want to work even when i am really bored!!



Is there any time to be bored for the nineteen years old girl?
hell no,
so i thought it was really interesting to see that some people really want to work, not for the money, but for themselves.

;(


recently my English class is reading on the story of Oedipus, and this personal ad reminded me of than. how sad and brutal it is to not know the biological parents!
http://www.classifiedads.com/missed_connections-ad2981225.htm

Family Solicitation?

WONDERFUL FAMILY
(Click an image for full size)
Ad # 3948088
Square ft. N/A
Beds 5+
Baths N/A
Contact Tamara Johnson
Phone 773 941 5526
City Chicago
Zip 60628
Created February 13, 2011
Expires May 13, 2011
Viewed 58 times
I HAVE A FIVE BDROOM SECTION 8 VOUCHER, MY FAMILY AND I ARE LOOKING TO RENT A HOUSE IN THE SOUTH SUBURB AREA!

Latino4Latino

Latino4Latino - m4m - 24 (Chicago )

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Date: 2011-02-13, 11:22AM CST

Reply To This Post

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Hmmm....well it seems I'm giving this a try since a friend found what he was looking lets see if it works for me. ha!

Latino here born and raised in the city of Chicago. Young educated with goals and aspirations. Wont settle for less than what Ive worked for.
Looking for similar Latinos or dark featured (not blk) men. Looking for someone to date and see what happens. Prefer masculine tall men.
I would like a dude that is cultured, chill, easy going, but at the same time know how to have a good time.
Discrete dudes not into the scene prefered....since I am not out.

Not looking for sex or anything like that. Looking for someone who speaks spanish too, I like to use my second language. A dude thats not Latino but speaks spanish fluently a big ++++
Ideally would like to find someone my age, but Im open for suggestions just dont be over 35. Thanks for reading fellas if you like what you read send me a message or better yet if you know someone that fits the what Im looking for play cupid. ha!

Hangover

HOLYHANGOVERBATMAN! i need food. - w4m - 21 (Beverly)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2011-02-15, 10:23PM CST

Reply To This Post

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i feel extremely awful.

would someone want to take me to get food and/or just drop something off?
i've got that i'm-still-drunk-can't-move thing going on. which is weak as shit.

so.
hangover foods are usually stuff not good for you.
SOMEONE HELP.

thanks for taking the time to read my outrageous post and i'm dead serious about it.

Super Cuts

Supercuts
I know all salon artists have to take to people, but I thought we had a good conversation. You cut my hair at the Supercuts on Michigan avenue. We talked about Hunter S. Thompson and I told you about David Sedaris. We couldn't figure out who wrote running with scissors and said you enjoyed Brave New World. I thought we had a good conversation and connected.

When: Friday, February 11, 2011

Where: Michigan Avenue

I saw a: Woman

I am a: Man

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

^*~Sawada Britney's Inspiration~*^

Britney finally flew to L.A. !! Britney hates her fat but Britney tries to look at the bright side. Britney needs a stable guy who is hot and has an anorexic, body complex like me so that we both can learn from our disorders. I don't want to be happy about my body without a bulimic man rooting for me.

.... this girl is Japanese

Come buy Ken's 1300 recipe book

Simple, easy trick!
If you suck at cooking rice,
my book will teach you how to cook 1300 different rices for a year!

His drawings are hilarious.

Math Cheetah

**** MATH CHEETAH **** (Northside)


Date: 2011-02-15, 11:45PM CST
Reply to: serv-egq6p-2217064521@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Screw Homework...

MATH CHEETAH: Where Cheetahs Prosper.
Math Cheating, Math Tutoring, and Math Success.

...Could you use some extra help with that math class of yours? Have you ever wished that a LaGrange Multiplier could just be a baby-making couple out near US12? Has it pained you that an inverse couldn't just refer to some great lyrics from a popular song? Or are you sitting there wishing somebody could simply do your math homework for you? Hey, maybe you're just wishing that I could stop asking you all these questions?

Well, watch all those wishes come true at... www.THEMATHCHEETAH.com.


Cheating Available For: Undergrads & Grads Only. Online, Military, In-Class.
Tutoring Available For: Calculus, Advanced Probability, Statistics, Pre-Calc, Trigonometry, Algebra 1 & 2, Geometry.

"im on a boat"

College student looking for Sugar Daddy - Classified Ad

College student looking for Sugar Daddy - Classified Ad

^this is what it all comes down to people lol

ew

DATE ME---COLLECT VALUABLE PRIZES - 30 (Chicago North)


Date: 2011-02-12, 5:27AM CST

1. I do not always wear my seatbelt.
2. I don't tear the tags off my mattresses (until there is no one looking)
3. I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores

it goes on and on

101. After reading this far you've already got too much invested not to email me back.

and then finally at the end after telling how to contact this person...


102. If you don't hug and kiss (for sure) on the first date-forget it.

...lames
people with huge egos disgust me :)


cute.

muse


the title caught my eye... ad not so much.


too young :[

:)



"Pretty much the only thing i want out of life is to be happy."

I don't know if i like that, but I'm so glad someone admits it. It's not a goal i would chose, I mean, everyone wants to be happy but to solely live to be happy seems selfish.

This is very different than success i might add although happiness can go along with it.

Anyyywayyy i respect someone who just wants to be happy in life. Because if they are focusing on being happy they are not worrying about being upset :)

CUTEST PERSONAL EVER!

Ferocious Attack Kitten

Ferocious attack kitten is available for adoption to any home willing to accept him.

This destructive kitty has been trained as a proud warrior and will fiercely defend your house, even against you. Well-trained since 10-weeks of age to attack anything in his presence, he will protect your family from evil things, including the following:

* insects

* other trained attack kittens

* babies

* toilet paper

* anything under a blanket

* unwanted house guests
* paper bags

* floor rugs

* Chuck Norris

* Feet.

Great with children (assuming you don�t like the children). Probably best used for professional catfighting. He is housebroken, but only because he wants to be. This attack cat has trained himself to seek out his food anywhere you hide it and rip the bag open to feed himself, great for those who travel extensively. Also trained to drink water out of toilet bowls and dishwater from items in the sink. Knows how to open some doors. He will find you wherever you hide.

Neutered (trust me, you wont want to him to procreate). Has not been declawed, but you'll figure that out really fast.

Understands and responds to a variety of vulgar and profane verbal commands. Has a very soft and furry belly, like a teddy bear - however he will bite your face if you try to touch it.

Willing to accept trades. Potential adopters must have experience with trained attack-kittens... please be prepared to show scars.

For the love of God, someone please take this thing out of my house.

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/dal/705407729.html

Oh Adam.....33(YVR) lmao

...........it's eve, where have you been.......... who was the next girl after me, hint it wasn't a sibling of cain or abel...................:)

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/w4m/2204092457.html

okay this just isn't right lol

verbosity killed the cat

According to my friends, my favorite past time is kicking little toddlers whenever I get the chance; but i like to think most of my hobbies are a bit socially acceptable.....

'My life reads like the classifieds...'

If you get that reference... we're friends.

ADULT HELP WANTED:
GIRLS EARN $1000 PLUS A DAY!
13 year old escort/model agency provides the highest level of clientele. Safe and professional. Female owned. www.joinieg.com

I just thought this particular wad was badly worded. At first glance, I thought it meant that the escorts were thirteen. I wonder if this was a mistake, or if it was a business tactic to catch the attention of men interested in (much) younger girls.


SITUATION WANTED:
North Shore man. Seeks full time employment; personal, home, and business services.

I don't know how dependable a man who advertises himself for a full time job by riding on the waves of a Jersey Shore star. Found this ad very interesting.


LOST MANNEQUIN $100 REWARD:
Accidentally left at Oakdale and Sheridan last week during a move. Was disassembled in two parts. Metallic paint finish. Please call ### ### #### if you can help as it has sentimental value.

The people in this ad clearly have a great relationship with their mannequin. Their conversations must be absolutely riveting.

UNEXPECTED BABY?
Gay couple of 12 years hopes to adopt a baby of any race/gender. Our daughter is adopted, and we want to share our lives and love with another child. Call ### ### ####; www.kipandsteveadopt.com

I love the idea of adoption and this ad is nice. Don't know how I feel about the website though. I think it's pretty interesting. On said website, they even encourage potential biological parents to follow them on Twitter.

I tried to choose just one, but I couldn't I think all the 'Pets' classifieds are interesting/disturbing. You don't know who you could be giving those poor innocent baby animals to! It makes me really nervous.

lmfao i dont know if its an ad or just someone being really bored

Chicago Reader, I Saw You:

We danced late night, held hands tight, touched faces, and connected on the dancefloor. This was not the average bump and grind. I felt like there was something there. I fallowed you across the bar we exchanged names, had one more dance and you were off with your friends. I woke up thinking about you and wanted to see if these "I saw you's" could possibly work in a city of millions. Jessica find me:)

When: Thursday, January 6, 2011

Where: Legroom

I saw a: Woman

I am a: Man

Chicago Reader, I Saw You:

Saw you in a divorce court ...

9:15 am, Tues 2-28 - I sat behind you while your soon to be ex was dispassionately reading the New Yorker.

When: Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Where: Divorce Court

I saw a: Woman

I am a: Man

Chicago Reader, I Saw You:

YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD EL RIDER

It made my day that you saw my "saw". So since I saw you again I thought I'd "see" you again. If once is good, then twice is better. Right?

When: Sunday, February 4th, 2011.
Where: Morse Train Station.
You: Man.
Me: Woman.
#904028

Monday, February 14, 2011

sooo sweet

Drinking

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/stp/2214316270.html

This person sounds pretty chill.

Cheeky Thing

http://www.classifiedads.com/caregivers-ad3246744.htm

Randi is looking for people interested in him face painting at an event, I think this add is pretty cute and maybe someone will be interested in taking up his offer.
If you happen to check out his website you will also find that he paints pregnant bellies.

Chicago Reader, Women Seeking Men:

FULL-FIGURED AND DOWN TO EARTH

I am a single, full-figured, down to earth, reserved, laid-back, dog loving, spiritually-minded, God fearing, reality TV loving, African who is loyal as the day is long. Family oriented African-American or Jamaican-American soul mate with same or similar qualities.

Nairobi9369, 41, #159752

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Authentic ninja training

http://chicago.craigslist.org/nwi/act/2211971111.html

Are you interested in studying traditional authentic Ninjitsu?















Now you can study the ancient secretive art of Black Dragon Ninjitsu at no cost.

I don't even know what to say about this one.

lol someone help this poor woman and her kids lmao

I need a Valentine Day miracle < - > 02/12 14:29:07

My 14 babies and 14 baby daddies ain't gonna get no gifts this year if I don't get a miracle.
The laptop donations I didn't get at Christmas would still be nice.

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/forums/?ID=182425319

Chicago Reader, Men Seeking Women:

ISO PETITE WOMEN W/ BIG BRAINS

Retired academic, very active, loves to travel and has traveled the world. Self-sufficient individual and comfortable with myself. Love art and am a sensitive man with two young grandchildren. Love Chicago in three seasons and dread the winter. Escape is a virtue. Interested in a woman with like qualities.

lewismd, 63, #159852

Chicago Reader, Women Seeking Men:

AMBITIOUS, LOVING, BADASS, WOMAN, PANTS

Friends would say I'm a blunt, confident, artistic, voluptuous, down-to-earth, realistic idealist. In every head-line option hey mentioned cupcakes and inappropriate things but I don't wanna give you the wrong impression. I have inappropriate friends. Sometimes I fit right in and sometimes I wanna hold back. Usually not. Being a strong, independent entrepreneur makes my spare time precious. After work, I love to dine with friends, enjoy a glass of wine, some good conversation and relax. I value alone time just as much as family&friend time. There's nothing better than sharing experiences with a good man. I love travel, music, dancing, being outside, cooking, intimacy, laughing, exploring. I like to make people feel good and enjoy life.

deeMkay, 30, pictures, #15829


Saturday, February 12, 2011

Kota the Dinosaur

http://chicago.craigslist.org/nch/tag/2211877851.html

Awesome toy!!! New in the box.
Animatronic, life-size baby dinosaur stands over 3 feet tall and comes to “life” with realistic sounds and motion!
Responds to your voice and touch with roaring and laughing sounds, and expressive tail, head, eye, mouth and horn movements.
Plays 4 different adventure-themed tunes for immersed, make-believe fun!
Convenient volume control switch. Maximum weight is 60 lbs.
Dinosaur figure comes with leafy snack and instructions
Playskool Kota My Triceratops Dinosaur
Loaded with cutting-edge animatronics features, Kota is a lifelike pet from the past. Kota will quickly become your preschooler's best friend, and his realistic features will leave kids in awe! Measuring over 40" long, tots can sit on Kota for some rompin' stompin' dino adventures. A hidden handle and spring-loaded seat provide a fun and safe ride. Kota's tail, head, eyes, horns and mouth are animated, and he comes with a fun music mode so riders can trounce along to dino songs. When he's hungry, kids can feed him special leaves and he'll be happy. Kota measures 21"L x 44"W x 28"H. Requires six "D" batteries, not included. Holds up to 60 lbs.

The picture that came with the ad features a cute little girl straddling this strange creature that looks like Cera from The Land Before Time, green with dilated pupils (from God knows what).