I miss you so much. I wish we could be together...

I have missed you so much. I miss the days of walking the halls and pretending we didn't love each other. I miss the days and sitting across from you at school and laughing until my whole body hurt. You were my best friend. You finally admitted your feelings for me and we fell hard and fast in love. Then I moved and you broke my heart. You shattered it. We didn't speak for months. I finally moved back and you treated me like nothing ever happened. You had moved on and left me in despair. I dated other people and you did the same. We went our separate ways after graduation. You went into the Army. Months past and it was Christmas time and we started talking again. My heart filled with so much happiness.

I remember laying on the floor of your parents living room watching movies and talking. I remember laying next to you at night hoping that you would wrap your arms around me. You didn't. We fell apart, again. You went back to "her." We stopped talking once again.

You told your Army friends stories about me and the things we did.

In early March you started passing me off to your Army friends. Finally one of them I fell for. I could tell you hated things working out. Then over the summer, you came home one last time before training. We went and saw movies and walked around. We sped around town with the music blasting. We laid in your basement talking. And wrestling. You pinned me and I have never felt so pleased and excited and wanted. Then we kissed. Deeply. You told me you loved me for the third time. I wanted more of you. As I sat on the couch you pulled me close to you and held me. We talked about getting married and having a kid or two.

When I asked you to tell me if you saw a future for us, you couldn't answer. You didn't want to hurt me. You told me to go and find someone to make me happy. I sat in your car at Sonic sobbing. Again you shattered my heart.

I am with an amazing man now. The one you introduced me to. We have a son together. You and I still talk like we are best friends. Like nothing happened. It kills me everyday. Because I am settling for someone else. And its all I'll ever have. You know I'm the one you are supposed to be with. Even your family thinks so.